Joy in Less

I recently started helping teach 1st and 2nd grade church on Wednesday nights, and I have to say it is SUCH a blessing. I really didn't plan on taking on this responsibility, but it happened and I am really enjoying it. I have come to the realization that God specifically designed me to be a teacher, since I am currently in two teaching roles at church and I clearly teach through the week. I love teaching, being in the moment when the ones you work with are on the brink of understanding something new then - click. It happens. What a blessing that I get to be a part of that for so many kiddos.

Anyway, with my girls (at church) I have been encouraging them to seek and acknowledge "God moments" throughout the week.

I saw God in the eyes of a coworker and friend. One who cares so much it hurts her, who despite her difficult class keeps wondering what she is doing wrong.

It was in a genuine and honest conversation with coworkers after work. We are all struggling with a similar issue, in different ways.

My biggest "God moment" revelation of the day came at dinnertime. I did something unthinkable. Something I literally have not done since school started. I fixed supper, sat it down in front of Little Miss and I sat down to eat with her. I cannot believe I don't do this more, but she's two. One of the few moments she is sitting in one place is when she is eating, so usually I take these 15 minutes or so to switch laundry, put dishes in the dishwasher, wipe counters or do anything I can. But today, I fixed her tomato soup and a quesadilla (because we have been out of bread all week and I haven't had the energy to pack her up and try go to the grocery store. Mom fail.) As I proudly watched her quickly catch on to the idea of "dipping" I realized how many of these dinner I have missed. The fact is, she doesn't care if I get the counters wiped, or laundry switched. My daughter has no idea that I haven't mopped the floor in waaaaay too long, or that the mantle needs to be dusted. I am also blessed to have a great husband who doesn't really care either (though I have to admit sometimes I go back and forth on if that is a blessing or a curse. Tonight I'm going with blessing). So that brought me to the question - why do I care? Why am I so frantic that everything has to be perfect??

It's because I am focused on the worldly perception of my life. Being the perfect mother, wife, teacher and church member. Volunteering, taking Little Miss to cheer class, coaching, serving at church, cleaning, cooking meals. I am now preparing to host Thanksgiving for 20 people. Yikes! And the truth is, I'll never be perfect in one of those areas, much less all of them. This year (and I mean school year. It's a teacher thing to always be thinking about your "years" starting in August) I have really looked at what I do. I think that what I do should always help me grow as a person and demonstrate love, caring and compassion for others. What of these things give me joy? I prioritized and now I have fewer commitments, but I feel more passion and enthusiasm for what I committed to. Instead of being at Cheer class and thinking about what I need to do the next day I am engaged in the moment,  watching my daughter show pride while walking on the balance beam. What a joy it has been! Instead of working on school work while she plays I am playing with her, and it is an amazing thing to watch. She is literally taking in everything around her. "Oh no, I'm stuck", I say as we are playing. Her response, "I help you. Oh no...TOOODLES". (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse reference, for those of you who don't have little ones).

So if she is absorbing everything around her, what I am instilling in her little heart? To rush from one thing to another, to say "yes" to every commitment people ask until you are overwhelmed? Not anymore. I am finding more joy in "doing" less (though what I have on my plate seems to be plenty to fill my day)  Engaging in the moment, focusing on commitments that you find joy in doing and slowing down long enough to focus and feel content that you are right where God has placed you.

And the dusty floors? They can wait, because a princess tea is much more important.

The Summer of Two

Things that I always want to remember about this summer:

1. How Little Miss says "Popsicle". A very confused friend asked me why my daughter was asking for a pocketbook.

2. Pretending to drown at the pool so lifeguard will save her. 

3. Having tea parties in her playhouse. It's amazing how anything she wanted would come out of the faucet in her playhouse. Even watermelon :) 

4. How when Josh and I would go into another room and come back 2 min later she would hug us and say "I miss you." Sometimes we didn't even leave the room at all. 

5. As I am writing this Little Miss climbed behind me and said "Me check diaper." Then pulled at my shorts and  said "No poopy. All clean". Then pats my back and says "Good Mommy."  

6. At her birthday putting her hands on her cheeks and shouting "Oh My Gosh". At a present. I believe it was Aunt Katie's Rapunzel Doll and matching dress that did the trick. 

7. Her first kiss, which was with her friend from church. It was in the church parking lot and possibly one of the most adorable things I have ever seen. I told her to say "Good-bye" to him and she gave him a hug, then grabbed his cheeks and planted a huge kiss on his lips. Usually her kisses are followed by an "I love you". To be honest  I can't remember if this particular one did or not, but when I tell the story when she is 16 years old you bet that I'm including the "I love you".

8. The pool - Her beaming face when she went down the toddler slide, how much she loved watering everyone's legs, swimming and blowing bubbles in the water.

9. When I ask her to go to bed and she says "No Mommy. Dance!!" and starts dancing around the living room. 

Conversations with a Two year old.

At the doctor for her 2 year check-up I was told that Little Miss talks like a 3 1/2 year old. Considering that since Kindergarten my report card always had a check mark next to "Avoids unnecessary talking", I am not surprised. This was the conversation in the car on the way home. 

Little Miss: "Mommy?"
Me: "Yes, Honey?" 
LM: "I see baby elephants."
Me: "You want to see baby elephants?"
LM: "Yeah. Baby elephants at the zoo." 
Me: "Oh, Ok."
LM: "With Mommy elephant and daddy elephant too. Hugs and kisses for baby elephants."
-Pause- 
LM: "No Gorillas. Scare me gorillas." (we are still looking on pronouns). 
Me: "Ok. We don't have to see the gorillas."
LM: "Yeah Mommy. See baby elephants. I love you mommy" (Heart Melt) 

I am beginning to love our car conversations. I think it is because we are both just sitting (which neither of us are good at when we are home). I've started to use these times to foster our relationship and conversations. It makes me look forward to this form of quality time at 5, 8, 13. I know our lives are going to keep getting busier and in all the craziness I am enjoying our bonding that happens when driving. 

LM: "Mommy. Love family"
Me: "You love your family?" (It must be the teacher in me- always questioning.)
LM: ":Yeah. Love my family"
Me: "Who is in your family that you love?"
LM: "ummm...I think Katie mom. I love Katie". 

Here is the slightly scary part of this: She is beginning to sound just like me. At 2 years old I have already molded the way she speaks, acts and interacts with other people. Yikes! It's a much needed reminder though and her imitation has helped me to make a conscious effort to do a couple things in the way I talk and act. 
1) Think before I speak
2) Show grace
3) Be kinder than necessary. 

So I guess we are both kind of helping each other become better people. What a blessing this motherhood thing is turning out to be. <3